Guest Post by Rachel Botsman | Am I becoming irrelevant?

This is a guest post by WWSG thought leader, Rachel Botsman.

This week’s newsletter is on a topic we don’t often talk about – fear of being irrelevant. Not being needed. Not being current. Not being employable. The list goes on. Search for books on fear and you’ll find hundreds. Look for one on irrelevance and you’ll find nada. Why?

The power of irrelevancy

The power of irrelevancy hit home to me last week when I was teaching a group of leaders. They’d been at Oxford University and away from their teams for almost three weeks. It was a rare window of space to purely learn and focus on their own development. We were talking about trust issues when a student’s hand shot up. “If I’m being totally honest, I’m worried that when I go back to work next week my team won’t need me so much,” she bravely admitted.

“Fantastic!” I replied. She looked at me slightly bemused. I pointed out the number of times the group had claimed a lack of time as being one of the top stresses in their jobs. Here, was a golden opportunity to gain back time!

They were unsure. More than unsure, they were nervous. Interesting.

So, I proposed…

When you go back to your teams, I want you all to ask them a question:

“Where and how am I no longer needed?”

(You can try this question with your own teams, children, or partner)

Some examples I gave:

• What meeting do you no longer need to attend?
• What did someone do in your absence better than yourself?
• Did someone make a change that now makes something else unnecessary?
• Where did someone step up and take over something that was previously your responsibility?

Great! All these things free up your time to focus on as they put it “high strategic priorities.”

But this idea of irrelevancy was deeply unsettling. It’s a feeling many of us have.

Often, it’s worry related to our relationship with work.  Here’s how I’ve seen it show up:

• What if people if what I have to say is no longer relevant?
• Why if I say something culturally insensitive without realizing it?
• What if what I have to offer is no longer in anyone’s interest?
• What if no one cares about what I do or say?

Is this fuelled by ego and preserving personal identity? Sure, but it’s also tied to the highest human need (according to Maslow): BELONGING.

Fear of irrelevancy can be real and rational. For example, I’ve had friends who were great at their jobs go on maternity leave only to come back and have been made irrelevant. The person who was put in a cover role has effectively taken their job. They’re pushed aside and, eventually, they leave. Terrible.

There are also super macro fears of irrelevancy. For example, fear of AI taking your job and fear of economic irrelevance.

But most fears of irrelevance are micro: self-imposed and slightly irrational.

And when these micro fears take hold, it can create some serious trust issues – in ourselves and others. Here are some of the things it can lead to:

• A crippling of creativity:  We start chasing or mimicking others. It stops us from starting before even trying.
• Protecting our position: A huge amount of energy (and often resources) goes into protecting our personal ‘empire’ or even a patch.
• Control, control and more control! Asserting ourselves to prove that we still needed and necessary.

In many ways, irrelevance is one of the most important human fears. And yet we don’t examine it.

Where does your fear of being irrelevant creep in?